What Not To Say To A Child With Anxiety?

Navigating the Minefield: Communicating with An Anxious Child

When it comes to supporting a child grappling with anxiety, it’s akin to navigating a complex labyrinth. A mere slip of the tongue, albeit unintentional, can inadvertently escalate their distress. It’s crucial, therefore, to choose your words carefully, akin to picking a lock with the finesse of a locksmith. But hey, no pressure, right? Let’s break it down.

Beware the Common Pitfalls

1. “Don’t worry about it.”

2. Ah, the classic. Intended as a soft pat on the back, this phrase often lands like a sack of bricks. To an anxious child, “don’t worry” sounds a lot like “your feelings aren’t valid,” inadvertently flicking their concerns into the realm of the trivial. It’s akin to putting a band-aid on a fracture; well-intentioned, but ultimately ineffective.

3. “I know exactly how you feel.”

4. Now, here’s a tricky one. Empathy is crucial, but proclaiming you’re in tune with their exact feelings might be a stretch. No two anxieties are the same, much like snowflakes in a winter saga. It’s more about understanding their world from their perspective, not overlaying your own anxieties onto theirs.

5. “It’s all in your head.”

6. If anxiety were a guest, this phrase would be the uninvited plus-one. It minimizes and invalidates the child’s struggle, serving as a harsh reminder of their inability to “just shake it off”. Anxiety, while stemming from neurological responses, feels as real to them as the ground beneath their feet.

7. “You’ll get over it.”

8. This one’s a classic example of the “tough love” approach, which, more often than not, backfires spectacularly with anxious kids. It’s about as helpful as telling someone with no map to “just find the way”. Anxiety often requires guidance, strategies, and sometimes professional intervention, not just time.

Crafting the Right Message

So, what’s the secret sauce? How do you concoct a concoction of words that’s soothing yet effective? It’s simpler than you think:

• Start with validation. Acknowledge that their feelings are real and important. It’s like saying, “I see you, and I’m here for you.” This foundational step is the bedrock of trust and understanding.

• Offer support without assuming command. Instead of directing, ask how you can assist. This transforms the dynamic from one of passivity to partnership. It’s the difference between being a spectator and a teammate.

• Equip them with coping skills. Rather than aiming for the eradication of anxiety, focus on managing it. This might involve breathing exercises, identifying triggers, or embracing comforting routines. It’s less about wielding a sledgehammer and more about using a set of precision tools.

• Encourage small victories. Celebrate the steps, no matter how minute, towards managing their anxiety. It’s akin to cheering for every point in the game, not just the home runs.

In the grand tapestry of life, supporting a child with anxiety is a thread interwoven with patience, understanding, and a whole lot of love. Missteps are part of the journey, but with the right guidance, both you and your child can navigate this path more smoothly. Remember, it’s not about perfecting the walk; it’s about embracing each step, stumbles and all.