What Not To Say To Someone With Anxiety?

Navigating the Maze of Anxiety: Words to Dodge and Why

In the minefield of mental health, anxiety stands as one of the most pervasive disorders, touching the lives of millions worldwide. Yet, despite its ubiquity, discussing anxiety—especially with those directly affected—can often feel like tiptoeing through a linguistic minefield. Words, after all, carry weight. So, how do we tread this terrain without causing undue hurt? Here’s a guide to the phrases best left unsaid and the rationale behind their exclusion.

Tread Lightly: Phrases That Miss the Mark

1. “Just Relax” Ah, if only it were that simple! Telling someone to “just relax” can inadvertently imply that their anxiety is a choice, a voluntary state they can exit with the flick of a switch. Unfortunately, anxiety doesn’t work on an on-off mechanism. This phrase, though often well-intentioned, can feel dismissive.

2. “It’s All in Your Head” While technically an accurate observation—given the brain’s pivotal role in anxiety—this statement is a no-go. It marginalizes the person’s experience, making it seem as if their feelings are not grounded in reality, which can be invalidating and isolating.

3. “Think Positive Thoughts” Positivity is not a panacea. While maintaining a positive outlook can be beneficial, using it as a blanket solution oversimplifies the complex battle with anxiety. It’s not about a shortage of positive thoughts but about dealing with overwhelming negative ones.

4. “I Know Exactly How You Feel” Empathy is invaluable, but assuming you can fully comprehend another’s internal tumult is a stretch, unless, of course, you’ve walked a mile in their shoes, battling the same demons. Each individual’s experience with anxiety is unique.

5. “You Should Get Out More” Social interactions can be significantly draining for someone grappling with anxiety, turning well-meaning advice into a daunting expectation. It’s important to remember that what works as a stress-buster for one might not for another.

So, What Should You Say?

Having established what not to utter, you might wonder about the right things to say. Here’s the crux of it: Offer an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, and refrain from doling out unsolicited advice. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply to be there, to offer support without trying to fix the unrequested.

• “How Can I Support You?” This question places power back in the hands of the person dealing with anxiety, allowing them to express what they actually need, which might be as simple as a quiet presence.

• “You’re Not Alone in This” Anxiety can be an isolating experience. Reminding someone that they have a network of support can be incredibly comforting.

• “Take Your Time” Reassuring that there’s no rush and that you’re there for the long haul can be a source of great comfort.

• “Your Feelings Are Valid” Validation is a powerful tool in any conversation about mental health. It acknowledges the person’s struggles without judgment or minimization.

Navigating conversations about anxiety is less about avoiding every potential pitfall and more about fostering a space for open, non-judgmental dialogue. Being mindful of the phrases you use is a starter pack to being the supportive confidante that your loved one needs. Remember, when in doubt, listening is often the best form of support you can offer. It’s about making connections, not corrections.