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What To Say To Someone With Anxiety Attack?

Navigating The Storm: Supporting Someone During An Anxiety Attack

When you’re faced with someone experiencing an anxiety attack, finding the right words can feel like walking through a minefield. You want to be supportive, but fear saying the wrong thing could make matters worse. Anxiety doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all manual, so crafting your response with empathy, understanding, and a hint of know-how is key. Here’s how to be their anchor in the tempest.

The Golden Rules

First things first, getting your bearings on what not to say is just as crucial as knowing the right words. Common pitfalls include minimizing their feelings (“It’s all in your head”) or offering solutions that oversimplify their struggle (“Just relax”). These phrases, though often well-intentioned, can feel dismissive and exacerbate feelings of isolation. Now, on to the do’s:

  • Validate Their Experience: A simple “I see you’re really struggling, and that’s okay” can go miles. Validation doesn’t mean you’re agreeing or encouraging, rather acknowledging their feelings are real and valid. It’s a powerful step in creating a safe space for them.

  • Offer Support, Not Solutions: Instead of defaulting to advice mode, try, “How can I support you right now?” This puts them in the driver’s seat and gently reminds them they’re not alone. Remember, while you’re eager to help, this isn’t about fixing them.

  • Breathe Together: Sometimes, words fail. In those moments, actions speak volumes. If they’re open to it, guide them through slow, deep breaths. A steady “Inhale… and exhale,” can act as a beacon of calm amidst their storm.

  • Distraction Can Be A Lifeline: Engaging their senses or focusing on something external can be incredibly grounding. Something as simple as, “Describe five things you can see right now,” or “Let’s focus on the cool air on our skin,” can provide a temporary anchor.

  • Reassure but Don’t Smother: Offering reassurance is good, but overdoing it can be overwhelming. A gentle “You’re not alone. I’m here with you,” strikes a balance between support and giving them space to process their feelings.

After The Storm Passes

Post-attack, your role shifts subtly. This isn’t the time for a deep dive into what happened — that’s for them to initiate if they choose. Instead, reaffirm your support (“I’m here for you, no pressure”) and if it feels right, gently encourage professional help. Remember, you’re a friend, not a therapist. There’s strength in recognizing when to hand the reins over to someone with a roadmap.

Navigating someone through an anxiety attack is no small feat. It’s about striking the right balance between empathy and action. Your efforts might not stop the storm, but they can offer a beacon of hope in the tempest — a reminder that they’re not navigating these tumultuous waters alone. Your presence, patience, and understanding can make all the difference. And in the vast ocean of human experience, sometimes, that’s exactly what’s needed.